Don’t Do What You Think You Should Do!

You heard me!

I said, don’t do what you think you should do. But wait, there’s more.

In today’s vLog we get down to the nitty-gritty on decision making and how to know what’s right for you.

There are so many options out there, how do you know what’s just right for you?

  • 1 in 5 Americans take some type of supplement, but they are getting duped and spend billions on vitamins that don’t even work-thinking cheap and easy is best (like at the grocery store) vs. investing in quality products
  • There are 30,500 fitness centers in the US and increasing every year – and with that, what exercise is best for you? Yoga, pilates, weight training, running, Crossfit?? So many options!
  • Medical information can be found on the net – WebMD, Dr. Oz, Dr. Mercola – where do you go for your research, who do you trust?
  • There are approximately 2,880,000 results for relationship coaches on the web – wow, how do you narrow down your search?
  • And where do we begin with financial advisors and wealth management options? No one has money to throw around to take the risk!
  • The global wellness market is now three times larger, a trillion dollar industry! Holy moly, that seems like a daunting list of inventory to choose from! Do you go with crystals, essential oils, bio-mat, diffusers, salt rock lamps….the list is endless! And everyone has a pitch why their product is best!
  • Not feeling your best? Should you go to a chiropractor, acupuncturist, energy healer, massage therapist? Or maybe you need Reiki, electromagnetic therapy or a nutritionist. Where do you begin?

I could go on, hopefully I haven’t overwhelmed you.

There’s no doubt this is the coolest time to be alive in history. There are more products and services out there than ever before.

But how do you choose what product or service is best, what coach or advisor can help you achieve your goals…without getting overwhelmed by all the options???

Here’s what I can tell you…

Don’t do what you think you should do, do what feels right for you.

If it feels light, it’s most likely right for you.

There are definitely a lot of great products and services on the market, which means you have a lot of decisions to make and information to pour through.

The key is finding what feels just right for you, what you’re drawn to, what gets you excited.

Of course there’s an element of caution as there are products on the market that are not good for you, people who are providing services that are not as effective. You’ll still want to do your research and then decide.

Before choosing any product for myself for example, I do the research, ask around, read reviews, but I also go with my gut.

And let me tell you I have tried a ton of products! I’m always open to new services, connecting with other holistic experts. I’m a guinea pig of sorts!

People also share things with me and I do get asked for advice on wellness tips all the time, so I really have to stay up to speed on what’s safe and effective.

The great thing is, I have developed a large wellness tool box for myself and my family, but also for my clients.

What if you pick the wrong thing or it’s not what you hoped it would be?

Big deal. At least you tried it and now you know it’s not for you. The best way to learn whether it’s right or not is to try it.

Sometimes we hold ourselves back for fear it won’t work or we’ll make the wrong choice. But that’s only going to guarantee you find no improvement at all.

Move forward and give it a shot. If you’re following your gut and all the research points to yes, chances are you’re on the right track.

I’ve started with coaches in the past I thought were a great fit and soon realized it wasn’t. Disappointing? Yes but I have learned to move along, find a new one and it’s not the end of the world!

The only way to find the things that increase your energy and make you feel more alive is to…try them.

Your wellness plan is very personal and what works for you and lights you up will be unique and different from anyone else’s plan. And if you feel like you don’t have a plan, now is the best time to get started.

If putting your plan together feels confusing, I invite you to schedule a coffee and coaching session on me. I’ll help you fine tune your intuition and determine the best resources + support for you. We can see where we go from there.

No matter what, don’t…

One thing I’ve found in my research and working with so many clients over the years, is that most people think change is hard. They actually resist change for a number of reasons.

One of them is that they think of change in terms of quitting or stopping something. And usually that feels hard to do, and they tend to feel bad about whatever they feel they should quit or stop.

If they want to lose weight they think they should stop eating fatty foods and sugar.
If they want to increase their abundance they think they need to stop spending.
If they want to make their big dream come true, they should stop doubting it can happen.
If they want to live a positive life, they need to quit complaining and thinking negative.

Now, I’m not saying any of this is untrue, but all of it has a negative energy that sets you up to feel like it’s hard, not easy to do, a real challenge. It also shuts your energy down and takes you out of the flow.

What I have also found is that when people look at adding positive things to their life, things they really enjoy, they can’t help but feel better. (that makes those things good for them)

And the best part is, they’re so motivated to do something they actually feel excited about, it happens almost effortlessly.

If you approach making change in your life with a focus on stop, quit or don’t – your mind negates the ‘don’t’ and your message gets muddled.

If I say to you “don’t think about a pink elephant”, in fact, no matter what you do, “don’t think of a pink elephant”….you see him already right? A big, pink elephant right there in the middle of your mind. And the more I tell you not to think of him, the more I say “don’t think of a pink elephant”, the more you see him!!

Let’s pretend for a moment that a pink elephant is the whatever you don’t want in your life. (nothing personal against pink elephants) and let’s say that what you really want is a green flamingo. (because that seems as impossible as our dreams sometimes feel)

And you want the green flamingo so much but all you could think about is getting rid of the pink elephant to get the green flamingo. (hang with me) And it seems the more you try to get rid of the pink elephant, the bigger he seems to get until he is taking up all the space in your mind. Yep, he grew so much that he consumed your mind. He’s getting harder not to think about.

You find yourself telling everyone about the pink elephant, complaining how big he was, how you can’t stop thinking of him and yet what you really wanted is a green flamingo, but then without realizing it, you go back to telling the story of the pink elephant who dominates your life keeping you from your dreamy, green flamingo!

Yes, I’m being silly here. But doesn’t it seem just as silly to focus on what we don’t want vs. what we do want? Yet that’s how most people approach making change in their life – and my friend, it just doesn’t work that way.

What it does do is make you feel powerless to the ‘pink elephant’. But you’re not. And, if what you really want is exciting and fun, why not focus there instead? Are you with me?

Instead of saying to yourself “don’t do _____________” (or “don’t think of a pink elephant”) start directing your thoughts to what you do want.

Start adding green flamingos everywhere you can in your day.

From the moment you wake up, focus on the green flamingo, talk about the green flamingo, put up pictures, write in your journal what it would be like to have your green flamingo, research where to find green flamingos, read books on them….just focus on the green flamingo! (are you seeing a green flamingo yet?)

Again a silly image maybe, but what you focus on expands? Focus on what you do want, then fill every corner of your life with it!

Here’s how that would look…

If you want to lose weight – add healthy snacks you enjoy and drinking more water.
If you want to increase your abundance, add ideas to earn more money.
If you want to make your big dream come true, add empowering beliefs.
If you want to live a positive life add positive people, activities and thoughts.

So, I goofed around and we had some fun with pink elephants and green flamingos, but here’s your real-deal positivity tip for today:

If you want to stay positive, focus on adding what you like and enjoy, that’s good for you.

You absolutely cannot go wrong if you approach your life this way.

If you keep at it consistently, pretty soon all the good will fill your life and squeeze out the not so good. (Yes, a green flamingo can squeeze out a pink elephant!!)

The best part is you get to enjoy yourself in the process. No suffering, no misery, no regret.

Positive change can be fun and easy!

So – what can you add to your day, that you like and enjoy, that is good for you?

Leave a comment below!

Match what you choose to your goals and dreams and you’re well on your way! (and I bet you get more than a green flamingo!)

“I wish I could stop feeling this way!”

Have you ever said that to yourself?

There’s no question there are times we feel things we don’t really want to feel. And it sucks.

If you can relate, you’d probably agree that all you really want is to get rid of the icky feelings so you can get back to ‘feeling like yourself’ as quickly as freakin’ possible!

So is there anything you can do to feel good fast? You betcha there is!

This week’s vLog walks you from feeling icky all the way back to woo hoo!

No matter how you’re feeling, step one to feeling better is acknowledging and honoring your feelings – right where you are, good, bad or ugly.

If you don’t, the icky feelings will linger and even throw a tantrum to get your attention.

Look, it’s easy to acknowledge when you’re feeling good. Because well, it feels good. We love when we feel good so it only makes sense.

But when you’re feeling off, icky, down or even awful, you want to ‘escape’ and get the heck out of there as fast as possible. So you might try to fight your feelings, get rid of them, stuff them or ignore them…just to make them stop.

The trouble is, that only makes the feelings stronger. They well up until you pay attention.

When you then say “ugh, I hate feeling this way, why do I feel this way, what is wrong with me?” you really irritate those feelings and they blow up in your face.

Well, I’m here to help you put a stop to that!

So, step one…honor how you’re feeling. Just admit it and let yourself off the hook.

There is nothing wrong with you. Check this….your emotions are working correctly! Yep, that’s right…I said they are working correctly.

You have an emotional scale…one end negative and one end positive. You will always be on that scale at one point along the scale.

And if you’re in the land of the not-so-good-feeling place, you can pivot and make a shift to turn you in the right direction.

Now for step two…ask yourself, “what can I do to feel a little bit better right now?” (notice I said a little bit better)

Your answer might be something as simple as go for a quick walk, pet your dog, look out the window at a bird, make a cup of hot tea, write a positive affirmation….whatever you come up with, it will be different depending on your mood and your emotion.

Example, if you’re feeling frustrated and stuck, you might need to get up and move so you decide to head for a brisk walk. If you’re feeling low energy, kind of sad, maybe a cup of hot tea while you sit with your dog might feel just right.

Miss ButtercupHere’s me snuggling with my Miss Buttercup. Always a happy place for me!

There’s no wrong answer if it’s good for you. The effects will be good for you.

And no need to put pressure on yourself to shift from crappy to top of the happy scale…just focus on feeling a little better. Then choose another thing and another thing you can do to keep you going.

You’ll create a shift within you and move yourself back to the positive.

Why does this matter???

Big dreams happen when you feel good.

And that’s the plan here right? To get your big dreams bubbling up and filling your life!

If you try this and just can’t seem to budge yourself enough…I invite you to apply for a Personal Intuition Reading right now. We’ll work step by step together and create a shift for you.

You’ll be feeling lighter in no time!

What if I don’t believe my affirmation when I say it?

The goal with affirmations is to feel the truth in the statement you are affirming.

You might be saying “that sounds good but what if I don’t believe what I’m saying because it isn’t true yet?”

I am lean and fit

Example – Let’s say the affirmation is “I am lean and fit” and yet you look in the mirror and don’t feel anywhere close to lean and fit.

How do you pull ‘truth’ into a statement if it feels like a lie in the moment?

Good question!!!

Affirmations are reminders of the beliefs and values you want to live your life from.

This is what makes them tricky for some people because I just gave you a statement that tells you it’s already true.

You may feel like the statement is a lie because it’s not true yet. If that’s how you feel, the energy you say the affirmation with comes from that ‘untrue’ place vs. a solid, expectant energy of something that has already occurred.

Here’s my solution to that!

You cannot look at an affirmation from a place of ‘what is’ or from your conscious mind. Affirmations are energized and activated from a place of ‘will be’ or from the gray matter in your mind, even though you’re saying a statement as if it already happened.

Let’s go over that again, it’s confusing!

When you say an affirmation it is in present tense even though it hasn’t ‘technically’ come true yet – but that does not make it untrue – because you’re adding the power of your belief.

Your conscious mind knows it’s not true yet but here’s where the magic happens….your subconscious does not! Cool right?!

Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between reality and what YOU create as reality. So it doesn’t matter that your conscious mind calls “bullcrap” on your affirmation! Say it anyway, from that magical place of belief and magic happens.

Your subconscious mind has a tight relationship with your body. You can think of your body as a reflection of your subconscious mind.

It’s telling your body the statement is true because it believes it’s true! So “I am lean and fit” to your body means, burn fat this is a lean body! Wowza right!!!

And the gray matter area of your mind, the place where thoughts and images, ideas and inspiration just ‘magically’ appear is totally connected to your energy body. So whatever you create from that affirmation activates in your energy body and starts to attract just what you need to see in your reality!

Holy moly that’s POWerful!!

I hope you’re getting a little more excited about using affirmations!

So here’s where you can add a turbo boost to your affirmations – you don’t have to believe the affirmation as present truth, but when you say the affirmation, say it as if it is guaranteed to come true.

Does that make sense?

Go ahead and say “I am lean and fit” not believing it….now say it like it’s a done deal and definitely happening…”I am lean and fit”.

See how the same statement feels different when you change your mindset? Can you see how the energy changes when you say an affirmation as if you just know it’s destined to come true vs. feeling like it’s a lie???

Around these parts, we say affirmations from a place of ‘KNOWING’ vs. hoping.

Here are a few more tips about affirmations:

1. Have fun when you say them! They should feel good and inspire you.

2. Use them like reps at the gym. You don’t have to stop at saying it once, you can say them throughout the entire day. Over and over and over, 10-15 reps at a time. Think of it as your mental boot camp!

3. Visualize the outcome you would like to experience as a result of the affirmation. When you say it, feel the words ring through you. Not just in your mind, let your body feel the meaning of the words and the outcome of the statement.

4. Include all of your senses in the affirmation. What will this reality look like? Taste like? Sound like? Smell like? Feel like? This is an easy way to get your feelings engaged with your affirmations. As you immerse yourself in your visualization, your feelings will bubble up to create the energy needed to bring about this new reality.

5. Imagine a natural image that compliments the statements you are making. Give your mind concrete examples that the outcome you want does exist. Visualize lean muscle, youthfulness, a trim waistline or maybe a feather…light as a feather, etc.

6. Smiling while you are saying affirmations brings fourth positive feelings almost immediately. You activate happy chemicals, all good for a healthy body. You will be amazed at what a great mood you will be in when you start smiling and how much more powerful your affirmations become.

7. Feel the power within. Before you say your affirmations, take a minute to press your hands almost to touching, place your hand over your heart or at the top of your head. If you bring your attention to where you place your hand, you’ll feel energy, pulsing or tingling, warmth. Remind yourself there is power within you and within your words. That power can change anything and create greatness.

Ok, hopefully that helps. You are literally going to be speaking your future outcome!

Are You Using This ‘Feel Good’ Tool?

Today we’re going to talk about an underutilized ‘feel good’ tool!

If you add it to your everyday, you’ll be amazed how good you can feel!

Most people wait for an occasion to use this tool, but you don’t have to! You can start using it right now!

Watch this video to get the real deal on CELEBRATION!

“Celebration is just good for the soul.”

And the best part is, you don’t have to wait for a reason to celebrate, you can make up a reason and have fun right now. And you don’t have to make it complicated! You can be as silly or ‘out there’ as you want about it!

  • You woke up early
  • You lost a pound
  • It’s a sunny day
  • Plan a get together and talk about the good things in your life
  • Your favorite color is yellow
  • It’s smile for no reason day
  • Your garden is blooming
  • Your house is clean
  • Surprise your kids with a ‘no reason needed’ party
  • Friends or family members

Life is too short not to feel good. And it’s too long when you don’t feel good. So start celebrating to up level your feel good vibes.

So what actually happens when you’re in celebration mode?

You’re present, feeling good. You share positive energy with others, laughing about the ‘good ole times’ and feeling upbeat about your future. You check out of the daily grind and lighten up.

This shifts your mind to a better place but it also shifts your biology to a healthier state. Your heart rate slows down, your body goes into a relaxed state and all is good. You actually slow down the aging process!

Think back to a great party you were invited to. What made it fun ‘for you’? Was it great people, the music or the food? Did you love the theme? Add those elements to your everyday and celebrate now.

To help you get in the party mood, I put something special together…and YOU are invited!

It’s called…

Positivity Party Radio!

Our first show launches Tuesday, August 16, 2016 on Transformation Talk Radio. Click here for more info, then save the page as a favorite.

13443205_1213853061980049_1579865764372552408_oMy first special guest will be Donna Haese. Join us to hear Donna’s journey and how her decision for a better life lead her all the way to fulfilling her dream of true love and being a highlighted Wisconsin artist.

Invite your friends to join the fun. More the merrier!

I’ll see you at the party!!!

What You Can Do If You Slip Into Negative Feelings

Have you ever found it difficult to stay positive?

When someone hears I’m a positivity expert, it almost instantly triggers them to say “I’m a positive person, I mean I try to stay positive”.

They say it almost as a confession, admitting it’s difficult to “stay positive”. They slip into negative and they feel bad about it. They actually beat themselves up for their negative feelings.

“Why do I always get this way?”
“Why can’t I stay positive?”
“Why am I feeling so crummy?”

Have you ever felt that way?

Are negative feelings normal?

You have an emotional scale. On one end, positive and the other, yes you guessed it, negative.

Emotions, positive or negative, are a tool to help you monitor your energy and your vibration.

It’s just like using a dimmer switch to turn on the lights. If you need to brighten the space, you turn the knob and the light gets brighter. You can do the same with your emotions to turn up the “light” within you and help you fill the space around you more positively.

What can you do if you slip into the land of negative emotions?

In today’s message we cover if negative feelings are normal and what you can do if you slip into the ‘bad land’ so you’re not stuffing your feelings or ignoring them.

To help you stay positive grab my free report “10 Things You Can Do To Stay Positive”.

 

Who are you dreaming with?

That’s right, I want to know who you’re dreaming with!

Who you’re dreaming with can help your progress or slow it down, keep you on track or knock you off balance.

It’s important to surround yourself with positive, like-minded people.

If you’re noticing ‘nay-sayers’ and ‘negative-nellies’ popping up the more you make progress, it’s actually a good sign!!

Yes, I said a good sign!!

This week we give some thought to who you’re sharing your dreams with, why you should be selective and what to do if people are trying to squash your happy-go-lucky streak.

And if you want to team up with positive dreamers head to our Facebook group ‘Big Dream Awakening Positivity Party’ and request to join. Get in on the FUN!

What Your Intuition Is Really Trying To Tell You


There’s something we’ve all done at one point or another. We play the comparing game.

And it’s even easier to do with social media and reality TV portraying a ‘perfect life’ for the person on display.

You see the pictures reflecting their perfect vacation, perfect family, perfect relationship and think “I don’t have that”.

Your energy drops like a lead brick with every comparing thought leaving you feeling lower than low.

The comparing game is dangerous to your dream manifesting success, and it’s a game you’ll never win.

When you compare yourself to others, you only compare ‘your worst to their best’.

If you’re feeling tired or wore down or struggling with something extra emotional, it can sneak in while your energy is low and distort what your intuition is really trying to tell you.

For example, you’re in a rough spot financially. You’re stressed and not sleeping well as a result. You find yourself skimming through your Facebook feed. You see an old high school friend just took a dream vacation to Europe with their entire family, a place you’ve wanted to visit for years. Your thoughts start trailing off to “I’ll never get to Europe, look even they have done it but here I sit, stuck. All these years later and I’m not even able to take my family to Europe. What are they doing right that I can’t seem to figure out.”

Your mind trails off to every little thing that’s not going right, how there’s not enough time, you can’t keep up with everything there’s not enough money and you start to feel depressed or miserable. Your thoughts finally land on something low grade like “I’ve failed”.

It’s not uncommon, it happens to everyone.

If you find yourself comparing, STOP and walk away.

In this week’s message I share what your intuition is really trying to tell you by noticing the good in someone else or in their life and how you can use it to get more of what you want.

Playing the comparing game too much? Feel low and wish you could turn it around? Reserve your Personal Intuition Assessment and get clear on what your intuition is really trying to tell you.

You matter and I’m here to hold you to it!

“I don’t have time.”

“I’m so, busy and overwhelmed that I’m not setting aside the time do what I need to or what I want to.”

“I want to focus on me, but it feels impossible.”

“And it’s no one’s fault but my own.”

“I just need to make some time to do it.”

If that’s what’s going on in your head or the story you’re saying out loud. Stop right now.

Time is a funny thing, it feels like there’s never enough. But believe it or not, that’s a mindset not a truth.

There is enough, but for whatever the reason, your days are not full of what you really want leaving you feeling behind, empty, frustrated or discouraged. Ultimately, leaving you feeling last on the list.

I’m here to remind you, you deserve better.

Check out this exercise to help you get clear on WHY time is slipping away from you. Why you are not your first priority.

I promise, it will only take you 5 minutes or less. And if you don’t have at least 5 minutes, pick up your phone and call me right now, I’m calling code red, we’re in emergency mode!!!!

You’ll need a pen and paper for this one.

Set a timer for 1 minutes. Not an hour, just 1 minute.

Write the first question on your paper. Then start writing whatever comes through. Keep writing until you have nothing left or the timer goes off.

As you ask yourself the following questions – answer truthfully, whatever FIRST pops in your mind:

1) What keeps getting in the way of making myself a priority?

2) What am I telling myself is more important than me?

3) Why do I feel these things are more important than me?

4) Why am I important? Why do I deserve to be my first priority?

*5) Bonus question: What happens if I don’t make a change and put myself first?

Ok, how did you do?

You can certainly spend more time with these questions…and your answers, but doing this fast eliminates the filter you use to tell you why it’s ok, why it’s fine, why it’s not forever, why it’s just the way your life is, etc.

I call bullcrap on that. You matter. You are a priority and I’m here to hold you to it.

Enough is enough. You can’t keep scrambling your way through your life if you’re not happy and you’re not feeling fulfilled.

You get one shot at today, one shot at tomorrow…you owe it to yourself to make them as blissful as possible. Because time goes by with or without your joy.

If this is something you want support on and you’re not already working with me, apply for a free Personal Intuition Assessment. Let’s get to the bottom of this so you can start living a life of personal freedom.

Let’s make time your bitch. HA!

Oh, and finally….stop saying “I don’t have time” and start saying “Time expands to meet my needs”. Works like a charm!

 

Are you planning for success?

I love when a client starts implementing positive, simple changes to their daily life. Limits and boundaries are demolished, the flood gates open and wonderful possibilities become amazing reality.

Here’s what one of my clients shared after completing just 2 modules and 2 private sessions in my Positively Living Mentor Program:
“…working together has been a great process of discovery and learning about myself. Its amazing how many self imposed barriers and limitations I have placed on myself. Now that I have/am identifying them I AM READY to shatter them and move forward on this journey! Thank you so much for all the great insight, advice, and knowledge you have imparted upon me!”
 
It’s not a fluke, not an accident. We hit the ground running with a plan. We set the table for success with intention. We clarify what they want.

Too many people go through their days focused on what they don’t want to happen, this sets the expectation that’s what will show up. And they are right. Thinking about what you don’t want is basically planning for it to happen.

Imagine you were hosting a dinner party..

You would plan for success yes?
e86f57cdfa45475ab1372f69ff85d63bYou would decide who you want to invite, send out invites, select your menu items, create an ingredient list, go grocery shopping, prepare your food, set the table and have it all ready by the time the guests were due to arrive. Your imagination would take over as you joyfully put the details together.

You would purposefully take action, moving through each step, with the end vision in mind – your guests having an amazing time at your dinner party.

It’s no different when you want something new in your life whether it be a new job, growing your business, finding a great relationship – set your expectation then joyfully plan for success.

Getting more of what you want in life is just like planning a dinner party. You set your expectation, plan for success – and take action on what you want with joy!

You purposefully take action as you move through each step with your end vision in mind which is – you getting exactly what you intended.

Yet too many times people set their expectation and then they stop, then they worry, and eventually they doubt.

Here are a few common mistakes that keep people from getting what they want and how to effectively set your expectation and plan for success:

  • They don’t have a clear vision. Just like deciding to host a dinner party, decide what you really want as an end result or outcome.
  • They don’t plan. You would create lists throughout the planning process for your dinner party, the same goes for getting what you want. Write it out!
  • They don’t take action. When planning for a dinner party, you create a timeline for your list items and final event and you take action to get them done. To get what  you want, you must take action on your plan.
  • They worry they will not get what they want. While you may stress a bit during the prepping for a dinner party, you have full expectation that the outcome will be a success. Apply the same energy to your life goals, expect the best as your outcome.
71ab5691d6304322978fe20fe4d1ba29A dinner party is such a simple example but it works.

The process for success is the same whether you’re planning a simple party, or trying to lose weight, write a book or any other life goal.

If you feel fuzzy about any of the steps, how to apply them to get what you really want to see in your life, you’re not alone.

For many people they know exactly what they want but they have no idea how to get it, for others they only know what they don’t want – and usually that’s exactly what they have, and they don’t know how to change it.

Just yesterday a new client said “I know what I want, but I get stuck on HOW to make it happen.”
Wherever you are on your journey, if you’d like to explore this approach with support, I invite you to schedule a free Personal Intuition Assessment. Together we’ll explore what you want, what’s holding you back and how to move forward with intention just like hosting a dinner party!

(Maybe the next dinner party you host is to celebrate you getting what you really want!)