I was the Wicked Queen of “Shouldsville” to myself. A constant, brutal and overbearing, nagging voice in my head telling me “You should do this, you should do that”.

As in “you should get more sleep, you should work out more, you should really clean up that mess or finish that project already”. It was like one long, cold finger poking me in the chest about everything I should do.

Realize that even if the thing you think you “should do” is GOOD for you, the pressure you put on yourself is not. It makes the positive a negative.

Living with this kind of pressure is literally like being penned in by an invisible barrier. Every time you try to venture out and do something for yourself, you hit an energetic wall and wind up right back where you were – or worse.

These ‘made up’ bullcrap rules keep you trapped.


What rules have you adopted or inherited without realizing it? What are the “shoulds” and “have tos” you put on yourself?

Grab your pen, it’s time for a PAPER RANT.

Give some thought to identify any and all rules you feel you “have to” follow, all the shoulds you make yourself live by.

> Do you say yes to everything at work because you feel you “have to”?
> Do you find yourself telling others you really “should” eat healthier, lose 5 lbs or clean more?
> Do you tell yourself you “have to” clean before you can relax?
> Do you spin a story to everyone that you “have to” do all the work, no one helps you, etc.?

Oh so many scenarios to pick from! (ugh)

Whatever comes to mind that feels heavy, write it down.

Choosing to do something from pressure is not healthy and it creates feelings of guilt, disappointment, anxiety and who knows what else-plus you won’t stick with it – and that takes you down the “I suck” rabbit hole.

Doing anything from this energetic space will not benefit you. Actually, you won’t move the needle very far this way and you may even rebel against it at some point.

For example, if you think you “should” exercise more because you “have to”, it will probably keep you from exercising to rebel against the pressure. (I have clients that eat poorly or skip workouts, etc as a big “f-u” to that inner voice – and yet they’re only hurting themselves!)

A better thought might be “I work out because it’s good for me” or “I feel more powerful when I eat healthy” and so on. Thoughts like those about your goals feel good and feel more inviting. – definitely more motivating.

No one likes to be told what to do, not even by ourselves.

Spend a few minutes on this one. Feel free to add to this list as the days go by. You may realize more “rules” you weren’t aware of lurking in your life.

Every day practice putting yourself first.

When you give to yourself, you feed your soul.

Don’t let this practical writing tool of clearing and healing fool you. It’s powerful, tried and true.

The best part, you can use it anytime, anywhere, for zero dollars, it works instantly and you can put it into action-starting right away. Using simple tools like this will help you increase your energy and awareness in ways that can only be done with energy medicine – from the INSIDE => OUT.

In case no one ever told you, clearing negative energy does not have to be complicated.

It may seem odd to consider this ‘quick tip’ as a form of medicine but this is in fact part of the shift I wish to awaken within you.

You hold the power to heal yourself and create a life you love.

So, next time your mind is racing and you don’t know what to do with the over-load of thoughts, use this tool of free writing. (ranting on paper until there is nothing more to say)

It’s the most effective tool when stuff starts piling up in your head. Your pen becomes the energy tool you need to transfer and release the thoughts, feelings and ideas that are swirling around in your head onto the paper.

Your mind is a powerful tool you can control, however, if your head is swimming with negative thoughts you won’t feel like you have control at all.

When you empty your mind you release negative energy that’s taking up space and not serving you.

Final step: Assess your negative ‘rules’ and spin them into positive, empowering statements. Repeat them as your inner mantras.

Build yourself with strong and noble thoughts. Then watch change happen for you as if by magic.

New motto: I will not should on myself!!

What are your “shoulds” and what are your new mantras???